In December 2013 Ewan and I had a year of adventure before us: our 2014 Round the World trip. We had worked hard to save up and we were giddy and nervous about the impending travels. As we whittled down our possessions to just what we could carry, our minds raced with questions and potential fears. Would we be safe? Had we done everything we needed to prepare? Is taking a year out of our North American (comfortable) life going to be something we would come to regret?
But we persevered because our dream for longterm travels was worth the sacrifices and the ups and downs, bumps in the road that would come along with it. We were new to the nomadic lifestyle, inevitably there would be highs and then also those hard discouraging days. But the reward and payoff was priceless.
I remember time in those days before we took off feeling so long. We had quit our jobs and were just wrapping things up before shoving off. It felt surreal to knowingly be on the cusp of a life-changing experience yet have no idea how it would all pan out.
Which brings me to now. Here we are, on the cusp of another life-changing experience. This time, parenthood. Yes. What are Ewan and I doing?? We’re expecting.
I’m already off work (though have a bit of time before the official due date) and since we feel we probably have everything we need to welcome home a newborn, I’ve had time for self-care and reflection. I’ve had such great support from friends and family; encouraging words, hand-me-downs, tips, you name it. And while this help, and even all the books and blogs in the world can tell you ALL the things, I am pretty sure there will be nothing like the experience of actually becoming a parent (I’m also pretty sure that I will come to read this ‘naive’ pre-baby blog post down the road and possibly wonder at myself).
I think one of the best things I’ve heard about expecting a baby was from the nurse who taught our childbirth prep classes. She said that the pregnant person you are who comes to the hospital is completely different that the one who leaves with the newborn baby. Your life completely changes in such a small amount of time.
And so here we are…a mix of excited, anxious, terrified. We’re coming up to the edge of the cliff and one way or the other we are going to be jumping. I don’t know what to expect or how I will really feel. I know there will be hard days (and nights) and I also know that all of it will be worth it. That my heart may grow more than I have ever known. That life will be turned upside down and present a whole new world.